Monday, May 11, 2009

where we are right now

I have a confession: I was baptised Catholic. Yup, my mom was Catholic until she remarried and then raised us in the Anglican church. So it's not like religion is an entirely new concept to me or that I don't know anything about the tenents of Christianity. I do. (every time I write I do, I secretly think: tee hee... i do, i do, i do... no pun intended!) In fact, I think part of the origins behind my qualms with the Catholic church actually come from its response to my mother leaving my father. My dad, though he may not be a bad man, treated my mother badly and when he started to treat me badly, she decided to leave him. Her Catholic priest counselled against it. Thus began my problem with Catholicism. (details are another story, for another day)

So what does that have to do with where we are right now? Well, at the moment we have just received our baptism certificates to give to our priest. The Catholic wedding is really happening, we have officially committed to marrying in a Catholic church. This was a decision that took me a long time to be comfortable with and I suspect that I will continue to struggle with the implications of this choice as we move forward in our wedding planning. But I feel comfortable with the priest and that makes the decision easier to make peace with. I feel like the priest recognized me for what and who I (and we) am/are and is willing to work with us to create a ceremony that observes tradition and respects us at the same time. That was very important to me and made all the difference in terms of feeling like I'd been pressured into sacrificing my wedding vision and feeling like it was a compromise that reflects both of us.

I think that too often, many churches become solidified in tradition and the ministers speaking to the parishoners fail to bring the message alive and make it relevant for contemporary issues and concerns. All of my issues with Christianity aside, I do (tee hee) believe that spirituality is important and that having a relationship with that "something" out there is important. And I'm sure that I'm not alone in feeling that way. If religion wasn't so static, I think that there would be more people coming to church and building connections with others in a community that they felt actually answered their needs...

I think we may have found a church that offers us that in terms of our wedding!

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