Thursday, August 18, 2011

wedding stories

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I promised myself that I would finish our wedding album this year.

It may have been too lofty a goal, I admit that now. Especially given that the stories I want to tell evolve so much over time and well, frankly, I have a complex relationship with weddings.

I don’t believe that our wedding date is the date that we should count. By that date, we’ve only been together under 2 years. And yet, we’ve really been together 5 1/2 years. The wedding was more a societal seal of approval, a ritual for others, a public way to lend authority to a relationship that already had permanence between the 2 of us.

I know, you’re probably wondering why the hell I ever got married! But truth be told, I always wanted to be married. I always envisioned it as something I would do and that it would be a moment I would share with my dearest friends and family.

That said, has anything really changed between the 2 of us since getting married? Yes and no. Yes because it gave weight and stature to our relationship in the eyes of others, which meant that it was easier to define ourselves as a couple and as having importance to one another in their eyes. But honestly, mostly no. We are still the same just with a legal framework.

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All of this is why, for me, creating a wedding scrapbook becomes a bit convoluted. I want to do it because we have all these great photos from that day, but I’ll never be someone who sees it as being the best day of my life. Or even as a day that defines me.

It was a great learning experience that taught me a lot about myself, my partnership, and negotiating family. It taught me who was there for me and who wasn’t. And most importantly all the diy wedding projects, probably much to my husband’s chagrin, rekindled my crafty nature. And for that, my artistic soul is eternally grateful.

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So now, as I contemplate what stories I want to write on this particular wedding page, I find myself wanting to talk about things that came before, or after, the “big” day. Because honestly, how many ways can I tell the story of one day? Especially when we have over 5 years of laughter together?

How on earth am I going to choose 2 (or 1 long one) to fit into the boxes I’ve created on this page? These days I’m really striving to tell stories that go beyond what the photos themselves already tell, which is tricky but is also changing the nature of the pages I’m creating. Hopefully, in the end, all the story telling angst will lend itself better to a reflection of me, us, and the life we’ve lived.

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