Thursday, September 5, 2013

the joys of motherhood: shit they don't tell you beforehand

You will smell like breast milk. All the time. Even just after you get out of the shower (or at least, it will feel like it).

I'm actually convinced that this is the real reason women started wearing perfume...

To add insult to injury, you'll become so used to smelling like milk you won't notice it anymore. What was once an offensive smell in the beginning of your motherhood journey will become so par for the course that you will become immune to it. As in you won't smell it on yourself, your clothing, or even in the spit up milk (as long as it isn't vomit) that your child deems fit to bless you with from time to time.

Ha Ha Mama, you stink of boobie milk! I like it!

Yeah. Nice isn't it?

Pretty much. After all, what could be sexier than your partner coming in to snuggle, only to say, you smell of milk.

Good times...

Hmmm, maybe eau de breast milk is nature's natural birth control? I mean, who wants to have sexy time with a big milk bottle?

Given how many babies are out there... I suppose more people than I care to think about!

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