Thursday, October 17, 2013

joys of motherhood: shit they don't tell you beforehand

Everyone tells you that motherhood is the greatest. That the love you'll have as a mother is beyond words.

What they don't tell you is that it's the small moments that sucker punch you and knock you over with love, not the big ones. It's the moments like the one above in the picture that kill me and overwhelm me with love for this little man in my life.

I know, you were all thinking that I hate my son based on all my snarky posts about motherhood. But it's not true, despite how hard I find it, I do love this little guy. Quite a bit actually. Admittedly, sometimes I need to remind myself of it but he always finds a way to remind me when I forget.

For example, after some of the worst shitty diapers, he often has the best grins. Seriously, as in shit eating best grins. This kid loves his change table. Even at 3am in the morning. Even when Mama is bitching about it being 3am in the morning and no, you're not allowed to wake up and be perky now, he'll pull out the best smiles and start cooing and it just kills me even though I'm still grumbling (admittedly less vehemently).

It's those little moments when he's proud of himself because he's standing up and awed by the world he's seeing at this new level or him holding my finger while he eats or a million of other little moments that make my heart go squishy. No one tells you about them, the ones that catch you completely off guard in their beautiful ordinariness.

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