Thursday, November 21, 2013

10 things right now

1. Liam is four months old now. I don't even know how that happened. It seems like just yesterday he was being placed on my chest, all squirmy and frog like, with me filled with awe over the fact that we had created this life; that he'd grown so perfectly inside of me. And look at him now:

He is a drooling, chatting, rolling over, perfect little baby boy. How on earth did that happen?

2.We finally installed our tub. It's been a long process. We bought it ages ago. I can truthfully say, had I known that it would be this complicated, I would have just gotten the tiled in tub that I dislike so much. But now that we have it, and it looks like the install is complete, it's a pretty awesome tub!

3. Paul is a great dad. I always knew he'd be but seriously... listening to him play with Liam and get Liam laughing is probably the best thing in my life right now. It makes me so happy and full of love and just content. Oh, I love watching him sing to Liam or soothe him and all the stuff in between, but listening to him getting Liam to giggle = absolute bestest ever!

Liam is learning to hold things, including his bottle!

4. I'm quickly learning that this parenting thing can bring out the best and worst in a person. Having realized that, I'm striving hard to stay on my better side of the fence. The first 3 months of motherhood were not my finest hours. They may have been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than writing a thesis, harder than a broken heart caused by losing my biological father before saying goodbye or really ever getting to know him, just harder. And yet, at the same time, they were filled with awe. I can safely say now, in our 4th month, that I get why people would do this again and that yes, this is the best thing I've ever done in my life. If you'd asked me at month 2, I wouldn't have been able to say the same. I didn't like who I was becoming. But now I've regained my balance and things are better. I'm able to see my reactions and be a better mother. I don't know that all mothers are made at the moment of birth. I think for me, becoming a mother was a slower process. The bonding was and wasn't instant.

5. Since becoming a stay at home mom *on mat leave* I have discovered online shopping. This is NOT a good thing. I have also discovered that I am not the only mom with an online shopping addiction. It is a very dangerous rabbit hole and I need to be careful about where it takes me. Just because it's a better deal doesn't mean that I need it!

6. I've started hanging out with other moms. It's nice. I find staying at home really isolating so it's nice to hang out with other moms. We always have something to talk about because we are sharing the same motherhood journey at the moment. In fact, between my online and now in person mom groups, I'm starting to feel like I spend more time talking with moms than anything else. I am grateful that I've found some solidarity but also need to remember to find time to talk about non-mom stuff. This parenting thing can sort of become all consuming...

7. It's raining right now. Rainy nights always make me a little homesick. Tonight in particular, the rain is making me think about the holidays and how, as a teen, I used to watch the rain drip off the Christmas lights outside. I loved watching the colours drop. Of course, thinking about Christmas makes me remember that I'm in Quebec now... snow will be here soon enough and winter is on it's way. I hate winter. Ok, I don't hate winter. I hate how LONG winter is. If it could be over and done with by February, I'd be all over winter. But alas...

8. I'm so far behind on Project Life I'm actually daunted by the prospect of going back to it. It's not that I don't have time to do the scrapbooking. I just need to do it differently than I did before. And then my printer ran out of ink. And well, my craft room is currently a disaster. DISASTER! I need to clean it and get it sorted and then start tackling my scrapbooking. Honestly, I don't want to not do it because this is the record of Liam's first days. But by now, I feel like I've forgotten so much it makes me a bit sad. I need to write this shit down. I used to, but I've just gotten out of the habit. Creativity is a habit and it's one that I need in my life so I need to make time for it.

9. That said, I've been trying my hand at making a new holiday ornament:

This is the mock up for a crafting activity I'm going to do with other moms. Our final one will be made with a photo we had done professionally. OMG it's so cute, I can't wait to share it. Seriously. Adorbs! Yeah... I'm back at the squishy again aren't I?

10.  Well on that note... here is my son, filmed for Karen who bought him his Sophie, attacking Sophie's face. He loves Sophie these days! Hell, he loves just about anything he can shove in his mouth right now.

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