Friday, January 31, 2014

Joys of motherhood: shit they don't tell you beforehand

Sleep aides: a love hate relationship. A true story brought to you by a sleep deprived mama. 

It's 4am as I write this.  I have bounced and rocked, swayed and sang for over an hour.  Currently Liam is in his crib watching his mobile while I recoup for round 2. 

And I'm sort of dreading it.  

You see, we have this exercise ball and it is 98% of the time, the only thing that puts my son to sleep and I'm starting to hate the damn ball.  Correction.  I fucking loath the stupid thing.  I'd like to take my butcher knife and stab it. (The ball not the baby, don't worry).  Yup I hate the ball that much. You would too if you spent as much time bouncing on it as I do. 

I've bounced alone and with friends watching.  I've bounced at sunset and sunrise.  In rain and snow and sunshine.  In front of a fan and in front of a fire.  Awake and half asleep.  

Hell, I bounce so much on it I feel sometimes like my spine is being flattened. When I stand my knees and hips crack.  

Yeah.  Have I mentioned that I hate the bouncy ball? 

Except, the other night when my son was sick and the ball had a hole in it and my husband tried for 3 days to patch it. And there was no damn bouncy ball and Liam was sick and miserable and wouldn't sleep.  

Then I longed for it.  I looked forlornly at the deflated ball, feeling like it was taunting me for all my smack talk.  

Well it showed me. I fought for sleep and the ball won. ..

So until I can teach my son to sleep without bouncing, I will continue to bounce in the wee hours of the morning, loathing but loving the sleep aide that puts my son to sleep.  Let's all just pray that he learns to sleep without it sooner than later because I think I'm starting to get bouncy legs.  

Before you know it, I'll catch myself bouncing in stores instead of swaying like other mothers do. ..

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